


They Called Me the Purifying Wind

by Regret_Pile



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Face-Sitting, Farting, Gagh, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:49:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4887946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regret_Pile/pseuds/Regret_Pile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jadzia doesn't quite know what the trajectory is of her friendship with Kira.  As it turns out, shared kinks tend to have an effect on this sort of thing.</p><p>Trying to write a genuinely romantic fart kink fic here.  Just go with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Insofar as continuity has a place here, this is set fairly early.

It wasn't a date. Jadzia had never said anything about it being a date. Two officers were going out to the holosuites after a long day. Miles and Julian did this sort of thing. Of course, Miles was married and Julian...had Garak? Honestly, she still wasn't sure if the two of them had done the deed. It was okay, they'd pick a nice, platonic program. Maybe something Elizabethan. Lots of layers. That would do it.

Honestly, Jadzia still didn't know what to make of hers and Kira's friendship. It honestly sometimes felt like they only ever spent time together because they were the only two women in ops. Which would be fine if Jadzia wasn't nursing the crush of at least a few lifetimes. The major was the single least apologetic person Jadzia knew--well, aside from Curzon, but that was a decidedly different case. Jadzia would have liked to have someone like that in her corner, growing up, back in the days of Jadzia the studious overachiever. And she was beautiful. The Curzon in Jadzia wouldn't shut up about the tight pants on that Bajoran uniform, and the rest of Jadzia wouldn't shut up about the rest. This was the sort of thing that she normally handled well. She made the pass, got a yes or no, and behaved accordingly. But Kira was there, every day, on ops. They had to be comrades-in-arms.

The door to the holosuite opened. This was inevitable. Kira went in for the hug. The hug was new. The hug was good. The hug was uncomplicated. All hands stayed in perfectly platonic places. Good hug.

As Kira pulled away, an unmistakable sound echoed in the blank holosuite. And then, a second later, the smell. It was foul. Rotting vegetables and sulfur. The major had farted. If Jadzia had been a lucky Trill, this would have broken the tension, made the major more approachable. But Jadzia was an unlucky trill. Jadzia thought this sort of thing was sexy. Every new host brings a few kinks to the Dax symbiont--Torias liked spanking, Audrid liked biting, and well, Jadzia liked farts.

Kira laughed nervously. "Pardon me."

Jadzia echoed that nervous laugh. "Well, I mean, everyone does it."

"So, I have permission?" Kira smiled impishly, and then let loose with a long whine that must have covered an octave. It smelled worse than the last one.

This was happening. On top of everything else, Kira could fart like that, and thought it was funny. Jadzia Dax, the woman of your dreams is in front of you and you are definitely not on a date. Every host that wasn't Tobin was screaming for Jadzia to make a move. All she said was "Are you feeling all right?"

"Replicators," said Kira.

"Sorry?"

"You've got food replicators everywhere here, just free to use. During the occupation, that wouldn't have been conceivable. So, I think of something rich and strange, and I eat too much of it, and then--" a parp "--this. And you know what? It's worth it. I even kind of like it. It's a reminder that it's over."

"So, in ops, that was..."

"Almost always me. Are you going to look at me differently now?"

"I...I look at you a certain way?"

"Admiringly. You're less subtle than me sometimes."

Jadzia was just going to spit it out. "Honestly, it kind of adds to the appeal."

Kira's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Jadzia blushed.

"You know what they called me in my cell?" Kira's tone had turned flirtatious. "They called me beythari. It...it's actually sort of sacrilegious. It means the cleansing wind. It's a reference to a specific prophecy of, well, a great wind. It would blow away some...some enemy, or oppressor, or something, depending on the translation. It was obviously popular during the occupation." She farted again, low-pitched and forceful. "That was a good one! Seven out of ten, maybe seven-and-a-half!"

Jadzia smiled. "Emony could do tens quite often."

"Could she, now?"

"Well, you eat mostly protein, greens, and fresh fruit, in the amounts needed to feed an Olympian, your body's going to do what it does. Plus, lactose intolerant. Most trill, are, actually. Most of the Dax hosts haven't been. I think Lela pulled some strings back when she got the symbiont. She was a real cheese connoisseur."

"And you?"

"Just enough to make things interesting."

"Are they interesting now?"

"They are not. I might have something, though." Jadzia made an exaggerated straining face, bore down, and mustered all of a brief, soft pop. "Sorry. All I can manage right now."

"Well, I always preferred to be the aggressor in these situations, anyway. Makes me feel like I've gotten the other person, you know. I like that."

"The resistance's chemical warfare specialist, then?"

"You joke, but that was actually a serious point of debate among some cells. No, I liked to think of myself as on the cutting edge of spooning."

Now that was an idea. Jadzia had had lovers let one slip during a cuddle session. She'd even let them know she was into it. But for someone to actively want to do it, well...she'd had to talk people out of being the big spoon before. She hated it when she felt like they were catering to her, rather than enjoying it themselves.

"So, do you want to fool around? You know, since we've established some common ground?" Jadzia had said it. That was that. It felt good. It felt like herself, not some stammering teenage girl.

"I mean, I generally don't do the casual thing. Not like you. But I like you. Consider this a yes. Computer, give us a couch...no, a featherbed." They climbed on, and began to kiss. Jadzia placed her hands on Kira's ass, and began to softly knead. Even un-gassy, it was spectacular. Kira took Jadzia's right hand, and slid it under her waistband, and under the waistband of her panties. "Wait for it," she said.

The fart was silent, but Jadzia could feel the warm air on her palm. She traced along Kira's asshole with a fingertip.

"Easy there, tiger. That's strictly an exit."

Jadzia removed her finger. "Sorry. It's a high traffic exit, at that. And I'm more a cheetah. Spots."

Kira laughed.

And then Jadzia felt something shift in her gut. There had been some pressure in her belly, but more at the top end. But the symbiont just moved, and that seemed to have let the gas move south. And it was moving quick. There was an audible gurgle.

"Sounds like you were wrong about not having anything today."

Jadiza nodded. All of a sudden, her abdomen felt very bloated. Something big was brewing. Kira's hand was up Jadzia's shirt and tracing a nipple. This was impossibly hot. The pressure had made its way into Jadzia's rectum, now, and she pushed. It was a rat-a-tat sort of fart, lasting upward of ten seconds. The holosuite smelled like someone was cooking the Alpha Quadrant's most disgusting cabbage soup. _That_ was a ten.

"Oh, you're good," said Kira.

"I have my moments." A second and a third fart escaped from her. The stink intensified. "You know, I have this fantasy."

"I like those. Do tell."

"Well, you're straddling my face, with my nose right in your ass, and I'm eating you out while you fart."

Without saying anything, Kira whipped off her pants and assumed the position. Jadzia could actually feel the major's asshole on the tip of her nose. The residual gas smell was strong. Jadzia prodded around with her lips and tongue, and as she located the major's clit, Kira blew another fart. Jadzia felt the breeze, felt her anus open. This was perfect. She teased along the major's labia, sucked on her clit. Kira's musk mixed with her gas, and she made hard, fast whimpers. The smell of her was so potent, right up against Jadzia's nose.

And then Kira's hand was down Jadzia's pants and moving in little circles over her clit. Jadzia took her own hand and penetrated herself with her middle and forefinger. As her arousal peaked into orgasm, the gas in her bowels made a more dedicated escape. She was blasting loud farts, two or three in sequence. The major was keeping up as well, with both gas and excitement. Jadzia felt utterly free, coming and farting all at once, and she had no doubt Kira felt the same way.

As the major climbed off of her and rolled into her arms, the air was thick with both the women's gas. Maybe things could be simple.

"So," said Kira, "You mentioned something about lactose intolerance? Well, I hear that back in Earth's distant history, couples used to share something called a 'milkshake.'"

Jadzia couldn't wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, the entire genesis of this chapter was the idea that Gagh wouldn't agree with, like, anyone.

Kira sat down across from Jadzia.  So this was it.  You get eaten out in a holosuite on a particularly gassy day, and the next thing you know, it's stuffing yourself on still-living worms and calling that a date.  
  
"Well hello there." Dax was smirking. "So you're enough of a pervert to go for this, after all."  
  
"Last time I checked, I suggested the milkshake."  
  
Honestly, Kira had always been amused by farts.  She'd always had fun with them.  But sex wasn't, as far as she knew, part of the mix.  Still, the idea of Dax's arousal, that got her going.

"Yeah.  I'm still not sure why we're not doing that rather than binging on Gagh.  I'd really rather just have some sweets than this."

"Look, dairy makes things...unpredictable."

"What, so the Gagh somehow upsets our stomachs without giving us the shits?"

"That's...direct.  Look, we'll both be absolutely destroying our respective toilets tomorrow, but not _until_ tomorrow."  Jadzia was blushing.  Kira had never seen that.

"Will the waiter suspect anything?"

"Yeah, that we're a couple of real tough customers and that he respects the hell out of us."

Kira smiled.  Someone who had been Curzon would know, she figured.

"So, Gagh really gives the uninitiated hideous farts?"

"Oh, no, it gives everyone hideous farts.  Have you ever been to a Klingon celebration?"

Kira suspected that Jadzia's fondness for the Klingons was more than just leftovers from Curzon.

The waiter arrived.  He placed one massive bowl on the table, with two small plates in front of them.

"You already ordered?" asked Kira.

"I'm the expert here."

A powerful stink filled the air, and if Kira wasn't mistaken, Dax had just slightly exhaled.  As soon as the waiter left, Kira kicked her under the table. "You haven't even taken a bite yet!"

Jadzia gave an aw-shucks smile. "I had a little for lunch.  I've been craving it, I guess.  I went for the Wistan that time--I figured the targ blood would be a little much for you."

Kira barked out a laugh. "No kidding!  So what's this?"

"Torgud Gagh.  Wiggles right on down.  Plus, I like torgud farts the best."

"You have a favorite kind of Gagh fart?"

"I'm a very sophisitcated fetishist.  I care about these things."

The first bite wriggled on down, really putting up a fight.  Kira, surprisingly, didn't gag.  There was crunch, and sort of a pungent-butter taste to the Gagh.

"If you bite it in half, it doesn't move so much," said Jadzia.

"What, you think I can't take it?"

"Even _I_ don't like it."

"You know, this is actually delicious."

"So, you'll eat it regularly?"  Jadzia's face was a pantomime of eagerness.

"I might.  You know that I'm already fairly gassy from this or that on a daily basis."

As if on cue, another nose-stinging fart wafted over from Jadzia's side of the table.  If that was from a lunch portion, this would be some night.

******

Kira ended up eating more than Jadzia.  Gagh was sort of a revelation, actually. It was so easy to keep eating, like a snack food, almost.  Of course, for Kira, that there was more was reason enough to keep eating.  She'd been without for long enough.  To feel stuffed was to feel safe.  And did she ever feel stuffed.  She hadn't been that full when the Gagh was gone, but over the next short while, she'd bloated right up.  Her stomach was audibly groaning, and she found her uniform tightening at the waist.

Jadzia had set up the holosuite such that they were in the audience for the premiere of one of the most famously erotic Trill plays.  So far it wasn't doing much for her.  But the feelings within her gut were, surprisingly. She wanted to fart on Jadzia.  To stick her ass right in the Trill's face.  To fuck.

This was new.

"How are you feeling?" asked Dax.

Kira answered with a five-second bubbler of a fart.

Dax smiled, and put her hand on Kira's hip.  "That's gross." she whispered.

"Oh, I'm just disgusting."

"How disgusting?"

Kira placed a hand down the back of her pants and farted again, deep-pitched and foul.  Then she placed her cupped hand in Jadzia's face.  "I'm going to be farting like this all night,"--a third fart provided evidence of this--"and I'm going to sit"--she sidled over--"in your lap."

"You'd fart on me?" Jadzia's voice of feigned surprise was like a little schoolgirl.

"Right--" she sat--"On your wet cunt."

Jadzia smiled. "Well, that's very forward of you."

The major was shorter than Jadzia, and her head pushed against the Trill's breasts.  She continued to let out rancid gas, in squeaks and trumpets and burbles and rips.  With her ass pressed firmly against Jadiza's groin, the warmth of it had very little place to go.  Jadzia giggled with each fart, and slid her hands over the major's breasts.  She began to knead roughly.

"Computer.  Shut this down.  We're kind of busy."

The two dropped to the floor as the theater ceased to exist, somehow landing with Kira's face in Jadzia's rear.  Jadzia, naturally, cut a five second ripper of a fart that made Kira's eyes water.

"Rude!"

"You love it."

Kira...did.  Being farted on didn't feel gross or debasing.  It felt like play.  It felt like disinhibition.

"Let's go to my quarters," said Kira "I hate the idea of fucking on a fake bed."

"Well, the floor's real," said Jadzia.

******

The turbolift ride was, for some reason, horribly long.

Two gassy bellies in one small space meant that by the end of the ride it was a sulfrous pit.  A particularly curvy Dabo girl stepped in.

When the door closed, both of them laughed.

Jadzia stopped for breath, "Oh, that poor woman."

"Is it bad that I'm kind of turned on, thinking of her smelling all that and knowing it was us?" asked Kira.

"If it is, I'm guilty too.  She was gorgeous."

"Maybe we'll invite her for a threesome."

"Can you imagine!  The two of us spewing this gas and her left out of the fun."

In the room, they stripped each other hastily, hands running over labia and hipbones and buttocks frantically.  Jadzia rubbed her cunt on the major's thigh, smearing it with her arousal.  Kira took a buttock in each hand, and felt a rush of hot gas pass between her fingertips as she kneaded.  Their farts really did stink that night.

Kira farted herself, loud and deep.

"Oh, you're way worse than I am tonight," said Jadzia, mock-coughing.  Kira liked that.

"I did tell you I'm good at this."  She pushed out a percussive fart that smelled almost too harsh even for her.

Jadzia took one of Kira's hands off her ass and slid it between her thighs.  The trill was sopping wet, and yelped as Kira entered her.  Kira's fingers were deft and comprehensive, going from clit to opening to clit until Dax was gasping and moaning and finally coming.  As she came, she let loose a barrage of loud, brief farts.

Kira was still worked up, and she couldn't stop thinking about Dax farting on her in the holosuite.  "You know," she said, "I'd like to have one of those, too."

"I think I can arrange that."  Dax's hands slowly made their way onto Kira's mons, and then slid further.

"Dax?  Jadzia?'

"Yes?"

"I want you...I want you to sit on my face."

"So I've made a pervert out of you after all?"  Kira lay on her back, legs spread, as Dax's ass descended.  Kira had never seen an asshole this close up before.  It was a funny looking thing, pinched and discolored, with little dark hairs around it.  It opened and hissed, and Kira felt a hot rush on her face.  A rotted, vegetal smell filled her nose.  And Dax began to finger her.  The trill was a teaser, pulling away just as Kira's arousal was about to peak, then coming back in hard.  Her ass just left a little room for Kira to breathe through her mouth, and her gas was coming fast and rancid now.  Kira's eyes were actually watering.  And, fuck, this was hot.  Jadzia was letting loose on her, completely uninhibited.  She was under a force of nature.  Kira came hard, harder than she had in a while.

They drifted to sleep parping and trumpeting, giggling at each fart.  Kira nestled herself against Dax's sternum, contented and surprised with herself.

She hoped the gas would last.  That they'd pass each other in ops, catch a whiff, and share a smile.  That they'd have this secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely have no idea when/if I'll write more of this.


End file.
